IF ONLY If only we hadn’t swallowed the structure of everybody else’s rules without questioning we wouldn’t be questioning now our need to be free. We would have understood how we have always understood why wolves want wilderness over enclosures, birds—sky over cages. We never would have let ourselves become domesticated, penned into pastures we never chose. We would have chosen open fields to explore, space to soar… We wouldn’t be breaking now our hearts / our homes wouldn’t be breaking apart.
I wrote this poem ages ago after watching Woman Talking alone in the theatre. I wept throughout the entire movie, which I don’t think I’ve ever done before.
I produced so many tears, was so audibly crying, I had to use my scarf to absorb the torrent, muffle the sobs.
I don’t know why I’m just getting around to posting this now. Perhaps I was waiting for it to be finished. Will it ever be finished? I’ve decided it doesn’t really matter.
I’ve been thinking a lot about freedom lately. Mine, yours, ours.
I’ve been questioning, “How free am I, are you, are we?”
I’ve been working on becoming more conscious, and in doing so, have become more aware of the perimeters I’ve been scratching around in.
How we are all born free, but so quickly become conditioned to the collective captivity that comes with being raised in a largely unconscious culture so that, after awhile, we stop noticing the chainlink.
How we learn to tolerate our own jailers.
How we, eventually, become our own jailers.
How we, eventually, hopefully, gratefully, realize that there’s no one standing at the doors of our cells but ourselves.
P.S. On a totally unrelated note, here are the pictures of pay phones I promised my friend, Kara, who recently posted a picture of a payphone.
Oh I am just in love with that first photo and what follows, and the relationship between them. And the dismount into the pay phones! I love your photos M.E. (Your words too of course - there is something electric in your photos.) I am happy you posted this poem and it has seasoned with meaning. Thank you for sharing with us! 🦉 📞💓
The way we are separated from ourselves so early. And then must hurt those we so don’t want to on our way to freedom. The painful twist. The essential rub. Burning. Exquisite. It will make its own crucial sense.
I love this Em.